In our work with people, we have found that one great healing process is laughter. It is with that intent that we offer you this page. If you have an important question about life, liberty, or the pursuit of anything, Ask Master Don-or-NonDon. He is convinced he knows quite a bit. He even purchased a master’s degree in “Everything.”
Ask Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why does my counselor just nod and grunt “Un-huh?”
Signed,
Somewhat Frustrated
Dear Somewhat,
Well, it’s the way they have been trained. Most counselors go to the School of Hard Nods. The grunting is one way they keep themselves awake.
Noddingly yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
I have been having an affair with my best friend’s daughter’s boyfriend’s mother. Lately I have been feeling guilty. What should I do?
Signed,
Guilty
Dear Guilty,
Honesty is always the best policy. Tell everyone, including the best friend’s daughter’s boyfriend’s mother’s father.
Truthfully Yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
What is the best way to walk through life?
Signed,
Curious
Dear Curious,
Take it one step at a time, watching carefully what you step in.
With Head Down,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
What should I do to keep my girlfriend from leaving me?
Signed,
Worried
Dear Worried,
Leave her.
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Hey I’m just wondering, how do I keep and treat a girlfriend right and keep her in love with me?
Signed,
ric
Dear ric
Girlfriends don’t keep well, even in the refrigerator. They also make up their own minds about whom they love. They are so stubborn that way. Best for you to keep yourself well and treat yourself right. Sometimes that spills onto other people, and they like that.
Yours with hope of spillage everywhere,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why is sex always necessary?
Signed,
unknown
Dear Unknown,
Well, without it we would have no dirty jokes to tell, nothing to write on bathroom walls, and less to obsess about. And with all the idle time that would leave us, we could get into a lot of trouble..
Keeping busy,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why do fools fall in love?
Signed,
unknown
Dear Unknown,
Fools fall into everything. They fall into holes, into trouble, into merriment, as well as into love. The dictionary definition of fool is one who does not know he is not watching were he is going. The good news is, if enough fools fall into something, that something will soon fill it up so there will be no risk of us falling into it.
Hoping to see you at the bottom of the heap,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Where can I get a degree in humor therapy?
Signed,
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Your question is certainly a laughing matter. You must get the recommendation of 4 people who say your humor has improved the quality of their life, and enabled them to see the joyful absurdity of the world and stop taking themselves so seriously. When this is complete, send a registered letter to yourself issuing yourself a degree in humor therapy..
Ridiculously yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
How did you get this job?
Signed, anon
Dear anon,
I expected it to arrive through FedEx, but it ended up coming to me in a dream.
Wakingly Yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
How do i relax and not stress out about everything all the time. All I want to do is laugh and have fun like everyone else. unfortunately I am bringing by boyfriend down too?
Signed, cmeston
Dear cmeston
Relax into the stressing. Realize that your boyfriend is choosing his own response to you. Stress is struggle. When you decide to stop struggling, what is left is peace (relaxing from struggling).
Without stressing too much on your question,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
What do I do if I have a bf but like someone else?
Signed, Confused “);
Confused “);
Like your boyfriend, instead. Someone else always looks better when you don’t have them as a boyfriend. Liking originates from you and can be directed to anyone you wish to direct it toward.
Liking you,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Ok. Well I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, but I really want one. I like this guy, but I’m unsure if he likes me. How can I tell if a guy likes me??
Signed, Confuzed Chica
Confuzed Chica,
Boyfriends aren’t that expensive nowadays. You can get some of them with a little kindness and respect towards yourself and them.
Here is what to do to tell if a boy likes you:
1. Get a lock of his hair.
2. Put it in a bowl of coco puffs.
3. Add one used light bulb.
4. Take this potion to him and say “Do you like me?” He will be unable to lie.
Yours Spellbound,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
What is the secret of everlasting happiness?
Signed,
Seeker of happiness
Seeker of Happiness,
Everlasting non-resistance to happiness. If we allow ourselves to let go of our resistance to being happy, we will be happy. You may ask, “Why do we resist happiness in the first place?” The answer is that we forget that we do not have to resist and that we can allow happiness to be who we really are.
Yours without resistance,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
I think I need a therapist to help me talk out my self-hate problems, but the ironic thing is, I have personally met all the therapists in my region. (I was doing a job-shadow and got introduced to everyone.) Who do I go to now??
Signed, frustredly yours, humour me *_*
Dear frustredly yours,
Unless all of the therapists hate you since having met you, any of them will work. Best to not hate them. Your hate for them becomes more of a problem for them than having met you personally.
Hating myself for having told you this,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Is there a way to connect to the source, that profound silent stillness out of which all springs.
Signed,
Tim
Dear Tim,
Some people try to sneak up on it so as not to disturb the stillness, but alas this does not work. Others try to search for the spigot with which to turn on the connection, but alas this leads only to eye fatigue. Some clean house and release all the junk that is covering the stillness, only to discover that the connection is already there.
One who needs to keep cleaning,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
Please help! I get so, so nervous when I’m speaking to people, especially people that I like. I stumble on my sentences and my mind sometimes goes blank in the mist of conversating… Pls provide some info on techniques (social skills) that I can use to overcome this.
Signed,
Nervous Wreck
Dear Nervous Wreck,
Well, ……….. I, uh, would just let,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,all that be,……. ok. When you try to, uh, let me see, ,..,.overcome it,um, a ,um, you are in battle with it and um, you are letting it be bigger than it is.So, Um, let me see, um, I would just say the , um…….. truth out loud to ……….. .everyone. Say ” Sometimes I stumble and go blank when I am talking, and I am learning to allow that.” When you accept something completely, it has permission to desist.
Accepting you and your imperfections,
Master Don-Or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
I’m a 24 year old college student going into nursing who still lives at home. Although I have practically no bills, I get frustrated with my parents frequently. It seems like they can’t stay off my back for anything, and they decide a lot of things for me. I feel like it takes away from my autonomy and what little independence I have. I’m not making near enough money to be out on my own, but I keep wondering if I may as well get the hell out for awhile, so they can sort their crap out and let me live a little. sincerely, kooped up
Dear Kooped up,
Autonomy and independence can not be taken away. They only exist inside ourselves. Tell your parents you will no longer give them any of your insides. Sorting out is your job, not theirs. Tell them you no longer need them to sort themselves out for you, that you will now begin to take on that responsibility. Parents sometimes have a hard time stopping their need to sort and their need to entangle with those they love.
Humbly unable to autonomously sort you out,
Master Don-or-NonDon
P.S. Read more about Autonomy.
Master Don-or-NonDon
I work full-time and go to school full time i just dont know how much longer i can handle it. i feel overwhelmed and am not performing my to my full potential becuz i feel tired half the time. I can stop working becuz i need the money to pay for school but i cant leave school until i finish what do i do? and i dont want to get loans.
signed exhausted
Dear exhausted,
When you surrender to exhaustion, you will no longer have to handle it. You will have to cut back on school and work. Then you will recover from being tired all the time and you will be excited about school and work, therefore reaching your full potential. Money will first become scarce and if you don’t let that overwhelm you, it will begin to flow to you when you have recovered. You believe you are in a rut, so that becomes your reality. Abundance always produces abundance. Lack always produces lack. Surrender to lack to get out of lack.
Surrenderingly yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon
You say we must change alone and need others so that we can change. Why do we need others for our change?
Grateful Universe Student.
Grateful Universe Student,
We change alone to be discrete and because we are the only one who can truly dress ourselves anyway. Yet without seeing what others are wearing, how can we gauge what it is we want to change into.
Here’s watching you,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon,
I have a question. My boyfriend is controlling and I do not enjoy the ways in which he attempts to control me. I do not allow myself to be controlled, knowing I can make my own decisions and I want him to stop directing his controlling behavior at me. I have told him this over and over and he says sorry and then it happens again. I understand this is the way he may be and I am not sure how to direct his controlling behavior away from me since I have become him current target. Before it was his mother and previous girlfriends.
Searching.
Dear Searching,
Boyfriends like to contol things, especially if they were previously controlled. It is their way of playing. Trying to control his controlling behavior makes you a perfect playmate in this game of control. If you have already offered him another target, besides you, to play with, and he is not so easily distracted, find another playmate who does not like to play at control and stop doing it yourself.
Playfully yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
Master Don-or-NonDon
i really like this guy and i think he likes me how could i ask him with out making a fool of my self?
help.
Dear Help,
Fools are very difficult to make. It should be left in the hands of professionals like me. It takes lots of practice and raw material that are dangerous in the wrong hands. Tell him how you choose to feel when you are with him. If he wants to try to make a fool out of you for that, tell him what I said about making fools. He can send $500.00 to me and I will send him one.
Foolishly yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon