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The HUMOR Page
In our work with people, we have found that one great healing process is laughter.
It is with that intent that we offer you this page.
If you have an important question about life, liberty, or the pursuit of anything,
Ask Master Don-or-NonDon.
He is convinced he knows quite a bit. He even purchased a master's degree in "Anything."
Ask Master Don-or-NonDon
| Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why does my counselor just nod and grunt "Un-huh?"
Signed,
Somewhat Frustrated
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Dear Somewhat,
Well, it's the way they have been trained. Most
counselors go
to the School of Hard Nods. The grunting is one way they keep
themselves
awake.
Noddingly yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
I have been having an affair with my best friend's daughter's
boyfriend's
mother. Lately I have been feeling guilty. What should I do?
Signed,
Guilty
|
Dear Guilty,
Honesty is always the best policy. Tell everyone, including
the best
friend's daughter's boyfriend's mother's father.
Truthfully Yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master DonOrNonDon,
What is the best way to walk through life?
Signed,
Curious
|
Dear Curious,
Take it one step at a time, watching carefully what you step
in.
With Head Down,
Master DonOrnondon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
What should I do to keep my girlfriend from leaving
me?
Signed,
Worried
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Dear Worried,
Leave her.
Yours from a distance,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
hey im just woundering how do i keep and treat a gf right and
keep her
in love with me?
Signed,
ric
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Dear ric
Girlfriends don't keep well, even in the refridgerator. They
also make
up their own minds about who they love. They are so stubborn that way.
Best for you to keep and treat yourself right. Sometimes that spills
onto
others and they like that.
Yours with hope of spillage everywhere,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why is sex always necessary?.
Signed,
unknown
|
Dear Unknown,
Well, without it we would have no dirty jokes to tell, nothing
to write
on bathroom walls, and less to obsess about. And with all the idle
time
that would leave us, we could get into a lot of trouble..
Keeping busy,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
Why do fools fall in love?
Signed,
unknown
|
Dear Unknown,
Fools fall into everything. They fall into holes, into
trouble, into
merriment, as well as into love. The dictionary definition of fool is
one
who does not know he is not watching were he is going. The good news
is,
if enough fools fall into something, it will soon fill it up so there
will
be no risk of us falling into it.
Hoping to see you at the bottom of the heap,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
Where can I get a degree in humor therapy?
Signed,
Wondering
|
Dear Wondering,
Your question is certainly a laughing matter. You must get the
recommendation
of 4 people who have said your humor has improved the quality of their
life, see the joyful absurdity of the world, and stop taking yourself
so
seriously. When this is complete send a registered letter to yourself
issuing
yourself a degree in humor therapy..
Ridiculously yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
How did you get this job?
Signed, anon
|
Dear anon
I expected it to arrive through FedEx, but it ended up
coming to me
in a dream.
Wakingly Yours,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
How do i relax and not stress out about everything all the
time. All
I want to do is laugh and have fun like everyone else. unfortunately I
am
bringing by boyfriend down too?
Signed, cmeston
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Dear cmeston
Relax into stressing and realize that your boyfriend is
choosing his
own response to you. Stress is struggle. When you decide to stop
struggling,
what is left is peace (relaxing from struggling).
Without stressing too much on your question,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
What do I do if I have a bf but like someone else?
Signed, Confused ");
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Confused ");
Like your boyfriend. Someone else always looks better when you
don't
have them as a boyfriend. Liking originates from you and can be
directed
to anyone you wish to direct it toward.
Liking you,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
Ok. Well I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but I really
want one.
I like this guy, but I'm unsureif he lides me. How can I tell if a guy
likes me??
Signed, Confuzed Chica
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Confuzed Chica,
Boyfriends aren't that expensive now a days. You can get some
of them
with a little kindness and respect towards yourself and them.
Here is what to do to tell if a boy likes you:
1. Get a lock of his hair.
2. Put it in a bowl of coco puffs.
3. Add one used light bulb.
4. Take this potion to him and say "Do you like me?". He will
be unable
to lie.
Yours Spellbound,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
What is the secret of everlasting happiness?
Signed, Seeker of happiness
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Seeker of Happiness,
Everlasting non-resistance to happiness. If we allow ourselves
to let
go of our resistance to being happy, we will be happy. You may ask "Why do we
resist happiness in the first place?" We forgot that we do not have to
resist and that we can allow happiness to be who we really are.
Yours without resistance,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
question?: I think I need a therapist to help me talk out my
self-hate
problems,but the ironic thing is, I have personally met all the
therapists
in my region. (I was doing a job-shadow and got introduced to
everyone.)
Who do I go to now??
Signed, frustredly yours, humour me *_*
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Dear frustredly yours,
Unless all of the therapists hate you since having met you,
any of
them will work. Best to not hate them. Your hate for them becomes more of a problem for
them
than having met you personally.
Hating myself for having told you this,
Master Don-or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
question?: Is there a way to connect to the source, that
profound silent
stillness out of which all springs.
Signed, Tim
|
Dear Tim,
Some people try to sneak up on it so as not to disturb the
stillness, but
alas this does not work. Others try to search for the spigot with which
to make the connection, but alas this leads only to eye fatigue. Some
clean
house and release all the junk that is covering it, only to discover
that
the connection is already there.
One who needs keep cleaning,
Master DonOrNonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDon,
question?: Please help! I get so, so nervous when I'm speaking
to people,
especially people that I like. I stumble on my sentences and my mind
sometimes
go blank in the mist of conversating... Pls provide some info on
techniques
(social skills) that I can use to overcome this.
Signed, Nervous Wreck
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Dear Nervous Wreck,
Well, ........... I, uh, would just let,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,all
that be,....... ok. When you try to, uh, let me
see,
,..,. overcome it,um, a ,um, you are in battle with it and
um, you are letting it be bigger than it is. So, Um, let me
see,
um, I would just say the , um........ truth out loud to
...........
.everyone. Say " Sometimes I stumble and go blank when I am
talking,
and I am learning to allow that." When you accept something
completely,
it has permission to desist.
Accpting you and your imperfections,
Master Don-Or-NonDon
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| Master Don-or-NonDpm
question?: I'm a 24 year old college student going into
nursing who still lives at home. Although I have practically no bills,
I get frustrated with my parents frequently. It seems like they can't
stay off my back for anything, and they decide a lot of things for me.
I feel like it takes away from my autonomy and what little independence
I have. I'm not making near enough money to be out on my own, but I
keep wondering if I may as well get the hell out for awhile, so they
can sort their crap out and let me live a little. sincerely, kooped up
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Dear Kooped up,
Autonomy and independance can not be taken away. They only
exist inside ourselves. Tell your parents you will no longer give them
any of your insides. Sorting out is your job, not theirs. Tell them you
no longer need them to sort themselves out for you, that you will now
begin to take on that responsibility. Parents sometimes have a hard
time stopping their need to sort and their need to entangle with those
they love. Humbly unable to autonomously sort you out,
Master Don-Or-NonDon
P.S. Read more about Autonomy.
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| Master Don-or-NonDpm
question?: Dear Dib-Or-NonDon
>
> I work full-time and go to school full time i just dont know how much longer i
> can handle it. i feel overwhelmed and am not performing my to my full
> potential becuz i feel tired half the time. I can stop working becuz i need
> the money to pay for school but i cant leave school until i finish what do i
> do?
> and i dont want to get loans.
>
> signed exhausted
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Dear exhausted,
When you surrender to exhaustion, you will no longer have to handle it, you
will have to cut back on school and work. Then you will recover from being
tired all the time and you will be excited about school and work, therefore
reaching your full potential. Money will first become scarce and if you
don't let that overwhelm you, it will begin to flow when you have recovered.
You believe you are in a rut, so that becomes your reality.
Abundance always produces abundance. Lack always produces lack. Surrender
to lack to get out of lack.
Surrenderingly yours,
Master Don Or Non-Don
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| Master Don-or-NonDon
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon:
You say we must change alone and need others so that we can change. Why do we need others for our change?
Grateful Universe Student.
|
Grateful Universe Student,
We change alone to be discrete and because we are the only one who can truely dress ourselves anyway. Yet without seeing what others are wearing, how can we guage what it is we want to change into.
Here's watching you,
Master Don Or Non-Don
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| Master Don-or-NonDon
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon:
I have a question, My boyfriend is controlling and I do not enjoy the ways in which he attempts to control me. I do not allow myself to be controlled knowing I can make my own decisions and I want him to stop directing his controlling behavior at me. I have told him this over and over and he says sorry and then it happens again. I understand this is the way he may be and I am not sure how to direct his controlling behavior away from me since I have become him current target, before it was his mother and previous gilrfriends.
Searching.
|
Dear Searching,
Boyfriends like to contol things, expecially if they were previously controlled. It is their way of playing. Trying to control his controlling behavior makes you a perfect playmate in this game of control. If you have already offered him another target, besides you, to play with, and he is not so easily distracted, find another playmate who does not like to play at control and stop doing it yourself.
Playfully yours,
Master DonOrNonDon |
| Master Don-or-NonDon
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon:
Question: i really like this guy and i think he likes me how could i ask him
> with out making a fool of my self?
help.
|
Dear Help,
Fools are very difficult to make. It should be left in the hands of professionals like me. It takes lots of practice and raw material that are dangerous in the wrong hands.
Tell him how you choose to feel when you are with him. If he wants to try to made a fool out of you for that, tell him what I said about making fools. He can send $500.00 to me and I will send him one.
Foolishly yours,
Master DonOrNonDon |
| Master Don-or-NonDon
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon:
Question: what is some advice as to what I can do if my daughter\'s boyfriend is a loser, and i know she can find and deserves someone better. how can i help her to understand and figure this one out? how can I show her that I disapprove without alienating her from me or make her angry?
feeling helpless in northern California.
|
Dear feeling helpless in northern California,
To disapprove is to judge. He who is a judger looses. And he who is a looser judges. The best way to help her is to not become a judge and a looser. Loose your judgement.
Also, disapproval is contagious. As you disapprove of him, she will disapprove of you
Whishing you no disapproval, judgment of loss in your life,
Master DonOrNonDon |
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon,
I have been working as a mental health therapist for 7 months and already feel overwhelmed, to a point where I think about quitting daily. I don\'t know if it\'s my job environment or the mental health field work that is making me feel this way. I want to quit but fear I will not be able to find a job I like in the future. I think I might need counseling myself! What should I do? Do you provide career counseling?
Thank you,
~Very confused and stressed out.
|
Dear confused and stressed out,
You are not suppose to work there or anywhere. You are suppose to bring you inner well being and express it wherever you work.
Overwhelm is what happens when you take thing seriously instead of seeing everything as a journey to yours and other's well being. Life is counseling and you don't have to do it by yourself - reach out. Stop all this working. It is not good for the soul.
Without stessing to much,
Master Don-or-NonDon |
Question: Dear Master Don-or-NonDon,
Hi i have a friend and i really like her boyfriend and i told him and he really likes me too but he also really likes his girlfriend what do i do?
Anonymous
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Dear Anonymous,
i think you should like how you feel about yourself after you have done something. i think you should like integrity and honor and have everyone share openly with everyone. i think getting what you want is second to all of this.
thinkingly yours,
Master DonOrNonDon |
Question: Master Don-or-NonDon:
I moved in with male housemates. One guy is attracted to me and is becoming very annoying to me because he hovers over me all the time. On the other hand, I am attracted to the other guy but I don\'t know how he feels about me. There is a lot of tension in the room when all 3 of us are together. What\'s going on and how do I deal with this? I can\'t move because I just moved in a couple months ago.
Signed,
Drama-house
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Dear Drama-house,
Housemates come in all varieties like flowers or soap. Be decsive in your peferences. The way to do that is to demonstrate a willingness to use one product and an unwillingness to use the others. Hooverers can be interesting even thought they are not your preference. Demonstrate your disinterest with your word and actions. Say "I don't prefer hoovering and will not be providing a landing pad for you." To the attractive guy say "You may be a great product. I as willing find out by sampeling a little. Maybe it will be a fit for you as well." Moving will allow you some other opportunities to make the same choices with other products. The trick is to know and develop relationships with the products you like.
Yours with choice,
Master Don-0r-NonDon |
Question: Master Don-or-NonDon:
I am apparently resistant to happiness because I am very depressed, lonely, and feel worthless. Although I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I feel as though, for me, it is unreachable. I get it that people choose how they feel but I\'m a mom and my small child is affected by my unhappiness. I want to be happy but I don\'t know how to begin.
Sincerely,
Painfully In the Dark
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Dear Painfully in the Dark
You seem to be stuck to the walls of the tunnel. These attachments you described are depressed, lonely, worthless, self blame. Begin by believing you are the light, and you have created the tunnel. Each time a train (the triggers in your life) passes through , you get banged up again. Choose to release all attachments and you will fall into the light. Start by giving up all the stories you have made up, sit and experience yourself in the present moment and once there, appreciate everything.
Yours passing through,
MasterDonOrNondon |
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