After a recent process class workshop, I felt compelled to write a short treatise on anger. Here it is.

Definitions:
   To begin, I propose two definitions. This is the first one. Anger is an emotion; it is not a behavior.

   An emotion is a felt sensation. One "experiences" emotion. Triggered by thoughts, sights, sounds, sensations, memories, beliefs and whatnot, emotions are chemical, electrical, and/or hormonal reactions to one's perceptions. Emotions require a nervous system, an amygdala in the lizard part of your brain and probably, a brain capable of learning from memory (as opposed to instinct).

   Notice that neither hands, feet, mouths, nor languages are required.

   Emotions are natural to homo sapien sapiens. Personally, I suspect emotions are also natural to many other mammals also. But, that's just me.

   Most importantly, an emotional experience is limited to the physical body of the being or person involved. One may "feel" as though he were about to explode with an emotion, but the closest one actually comes to exploding is to exude an odor (fear), heat (anger), salt water (sadness, fear), or perhaps pheromones (love or desire). You, dear reader, may be of the belief that one exudes "vibrations" when one is emotional. Maybe so. Maybe not. Either way, the odor, heat, tears, sweat, pheromones, or vibrations that exit your body and waft their way into the universe, do so without you. Your involvement with the emotion ends as it leaves your external shell through your skin, breath, or other body part.

   Hence the emotion of anger can be experienced without being observed by an outsider. It is quite possible to sit quietly and be seething in anger without anyone else noticing. For me, the Zen saying, 'no expression; no repression' describes the idea succinctly. Try experiencing the physicality of your anger, on purpose and without Doing anything. Anger is, after all, only chemicals.

   Here is the second definition. Behavior is not an emotion; it is an activity, a physical action through space and time.

   Angry behavior isn't anger. Angry behavior is just behavior. It is a Doing that attempts to Make Something Happen. Quite often it is an effort not to experience the intensity of the felt sensations which anger brings. Angry behavior may involve one's mouth and language centers; it may involve bones, muscles, or joints. Almost always, it involves trying or efforting and the intent to bring about change. Usually, I've noticed, angry behavior involves the intent to bring about change, not in oneself, but in the Other Guy.

   Angry behavior is observable. Yelling, blaming, name-calling, aggression, striking out, hurting, kicking, ... The list is long and advances to abuse, homicide, terrorism, and torture. The list also includes many behaviors which might not, at first glance, appear angry such as passive-aggression, obstruction, stewing oneself to higher blood pressure, suicide, ... Again, these are actions not emotions. Emotions may accompany these behaviors, but with or without felt sensations, they are still only behaviors.

No more anger
   In the workshop mentioned at the top of this piece, the idea of working through one's anger until there is "no more anger, ever," was proposed. Here's what I say to that.

   Good luck.

   One can, in fact, work situational anger through to a resolution. It's not easy, but it can be learned and accomplished. One way is to allow your anger. Respect it. Consciously breathe into the felt (body) sensations of your resentment, rage, or whatever you name it, until the intensity subsides, and the anger chemicals are diluted and no longer surging through your blood stream urging you to, "Do something. Now." Then take action to change what you are doing or find a way to accept the situation as it is. Move toward giving up wanting, needing, or expecting anything from someone or something else. Shrug your shoulders, breathe, and experiment with letting go of the attachment to outcome.

   Another way to work through situational anger is to experience your way down and into the felt sensations and then, instead of stopping there, allow the underlying fear to become conscious and experienced. Continue. Stay with yourself and breathe into your fear. Soon, because of course your fear is fear of loss, you will experience sadness. Stay with your sadness. As the sadness subsides, you will either cycle again or morph into relief, perhaps something akin to joy. Your head will clear. Your brain will work and your rational mind can come to the forefront and consider whether you want to let go of your attachment to outcome. Or not.

   Anger which arises from what may appear to be situational, but is, in fact, a re-enactment of an unfinished developmental, existential or traumatic response from Before, is not so easily resolved. This anger is often referred to metaphorically as "the tip of the iceberg." Here's an example. Someone cuts in front of you in line and you escalate from general irritation to fantasies of blowing up the world or at the very least, maiming the offender. Perhaps you "act out" (yell for the line-police, comment sarcastically, plot revenge, etc.). An hour later, you are still upset. Eventually you find relief. Unfortunately the relief lasts only until the next re-enactment event. Psychotherapy offers one arena for the resolution of such suppressed or repressed rage, and a discussion of the hows and how-comes of that is reserved for another time and place.

   Lastly, not all anger is, in my opinion, negative. Anger can spur the will to take action toward safety or accomplishment. In fact, on an Anger Intensity Scale of 0 to 10, consciously and on-purpose accessing a level of anger from perhaps level 2 to 4 is a surefire way to 1) open the door to wherever your "I can do this" power-place lives and/or 2) neutralize anxiety,** thus allowing your brain to unfreeze and begin the process whereby rational thinking may return. So to rid yourself entirely of all anger would leave you with only fear, love, and sadness as your lifetime companions.

   No thanks.

   Nevertheless, if you are still interested in Never Being Angry Again, there are a couple of ways you might achieve that. Here are three of them:

• Stop breathing. This method is guaranteed.
• Complete your psychological healing.
• Move forward on the path to enlightenment, until you have completely shed yourself of all attachments, even to life itself.

   As I said before, good luck with that. Personally, I plan to enjoy my emotions while I have a body to experience them. I figure I'll be floating around the universe completely free of attachments, soon enough. Sounds a bit boring, actually. Access to my authentic emotions has been hard won, and I look forward to enjoying them for as long as possible.

**Definition #3: Fear is a response to imminent physical danger; anxiety is a response to one's fantasy about the future.
Carol Nichols Hadlock February 2006

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